[Sca-cooks] My Christmas dinner & LOOT

[Robin Carroll-Mann]

On 29 Dec 2003, at 11:54, jenne at fiedlerfamily.net wrote:

> > Also sprach Patricia Collum:
> > >Dinner was a quiet roast beef and potatoes.
> >
> > You know, many would argue that a noisy or talkative roast beef would
> > positively put most people off their food. How about one that sings
> > in a squeaky voice, just slightly off-key? Or squeaks when you poke
> > it with a fork?
> 
> Douglas Adams, _The Restaurant at the End of the Universe_, has this to
> say:

> A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table,
> a large fat meaty quadruped of the bovine type with
> large watery eyes, small horns and what might almost have
> been an ingratiating smile on its lips.
> 
> 'Good evening', it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches,
> 'I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in the parts
> of my body?'

For an alternate perspective, see Chapter IX of "Through the Looking-Glass" by Lewis 
Carroll:

At last the Red Queen began. `You've missed the soup and fish,' she said. `Put on 
the joint!' And the waiters set a leg of mutton before Alice, who looked at it rather 
anxiously, as she had never had to carve a joint before.

`You look a little shy: let me introduce you to that leg of mutton,' said the Red 
Queen. `Alice--Mutton: Mutton--Alice.' The leg of mutton got up in the dish and made 
a little bow to Alice; and Alice returned the bow, not knowing whether to be frightened 
or amused.

`May I give you a slice?' she said, taking up the knife and fork, and looking from one 
Queen to the other.

`Certainly not,' the Red Queen said, very decidedly: `it isn't etiquette to cut anyone 
you've been introduced to. Remove the joint!' And the waiters carried it off, and 
brought a large plum-pudding in its place.

`I won't be introduced to the pudding, please,' Alice said, rather hastily, `or we shall 
get no dinner at all. May I give you some?' But the Red Queen looked sulky, and 
growled `Pudding--Alice: Alice--Pudding. Remove the pudding!' and the waiters took it 
away so quickly that Alice couldn't return its bow.

However, she didn't see why the Red Queen should be the only one to give orders; 
so, as an experiment, she called out `Waiter! Bring back the pudding!' and there it 
was again in a moment, like a conjuring trick. It was so large that she couldn't help 
feeling a little shy with it, as she had been with the mutton; however, she conquered 
her shyness by a great effort, and cut a slice and handed it to the Red Queen.

`What impertinence!' said the Pudding. `I wonder how you'd like it, if I were to cut a 
slice out of you, you creature!'

It spoke in a thick, suety sort of voice, and Alice hadn't a word to say in reply: she 
could only sit and look at it and gasp.

`Make a remark,' said the Red Queen: `it's ridiculous to leave all the conversation to 
the pudding!'  



Brighid ni Chiarain *** mka Robin Carroll-Mann
Barony of Settmour Swamp, East Kingdom
rcmann4 at earthlink.net