[Sca-cooks] tart crusts/pans

[Huette von Ahrens]

--- johnna holloway
<johnna at sitka.engin.umich.edu> wrote:
> Well, way back in the mid 1970's just after
>  not-so Fabulous Feasts made its appearance,
> there were a number of these pies served at
> Midrealm feasts.
> Cosman offers Live Frog and Turtle Pie on page
> 204.
> I can remember frogs and it seems to me that
> mice
> were also served.
>
> Head tables at State banquets are another
> subject, but
> I think some of the White House cookbooks would
> give
> you that information if you are interested.
>
> Johnnae llyn Lewis  Johnna Holloway

Long ago, back in the days when Conrad von
Regensburg was Baron of Lyondemere, in the
Kingdom of Caid, there used to be a canton in the
heart of the Barony of the Angels called
Greywinds, in an area mythically called
Hollywood. The people of this canton were very
nice, creative people and everyone who knew them
enjoyed their company.

When it came time to celebrate the anniversary of
the forming of their canton, the Seneschal, Lady
Luxandra of Altumbria, called her people into
council and asked them, "We must needs celebrate
our anniversary with a splendid tournament. But
where can such an event be held? Most of our
local parks are either the size of a miser's
heart or else in dangerous territory where even
Angels fears to tread. Oh, what can we do?"

And so did the people of the canton go out and
search their land for a park large enough to hold
a tournament and safe enough to attract people
from other areas to attend their celebration.
After much searching and seeking, they did find a
perfect park to hold their anniversary, called
Roxbury Park in the hills of Beverly.  However,
it lay outside their land, on the border between
the Barony of the Angels and the Barony of
Lyondemere.

Before they announced their plans to the Known
World, they sought the counsel of their baron,
Damon of the Lake that Flames, who assured them
that the park was within his territory and that
all their plans were acceptable to him.
Unfortunately, one month before their anniversary
was to be held, Lyondemere did invade Angels
territory and did claim that park as their
territory, holding a tournament there as proof of
their claim.

The autocrat of the anniversary cried upon
hearing this news, "Oh what shall we do now? Our
announcement has already been printed in the
Crown Prints and there will not be another
published until after our event! Oh what shall we
do?" "Fear not", said their seneschal, "we are
just a small canton with no fighters to speak of.
They will not notice if we hold our tournament
there."

And so they went forward with their plans.  The
day of the event dawned beautifully. The sun
reigned warmly in the azure Caidan skies. As the
people of Greywinds went about their business,
setting up their event, several messages were
sent to the autocrat. The first being that the
King and Queen were ill and were unable to
attend. The second being that the Baron's wain
had broken and that they would be late, but to
start the event without them. So, at the
appointed time, did
Greywinds begin their tournament, with the
Seneschal, Lady Luxandra standing in proxy of the
Baron.

After the Herald called the populace to attend
the words of the Seneschal, suddenly came a
clamor from behind the crowd. The crowd parted as
a procession of Lyondemarines came forward, with
Baron Conrad in the lead. Looking sternly at the
good people of Greywinds, Baron Conrad was heard
to say, "You people are trespassing on my
territory. For this, you will pay! I give you
until Coronation Day next to send me your
tribute!" Upon saying that, did he stalk off with
his entourage in tow.

When Baron Damon arrived on site later that day,
Lady Luxandra did seek him out and informed him
of all that had occurred previously. "Do not
worry. I will take this before the King and he
will clear this matter up for us." Then a thought
came to Baron Damon. "Did Baron Conrad state what
kind of tribute that he wanted?"  "No." "Well,
then," said Damon, "you are free to pay whatever
you want to pay."

By the time Coronation Day had arrived, Baron
Damon had arranged with the Crescent Herald to do
business before the King. Approaching His
Majesty, Baron Damon brought out a map of Caid
and placed it before the King. "Your Majesty,"
asked Damon, "is not this a map of Your Kingdom
with all the Baronial borders drawn as You have
previously decreed?"

His Majesty looked at the map and agreed that it
was. "Would Your Majesty please have the Baron of
Lyondemere called forward?"

His Majesty signalled his Herald to do so.  After
Conrad came forward and did his courtesy to his
King, did Damon ask, "Was it not agreed
previously that all lands west of this road,
numbered 405, were to belong to Lyondemere and
all lands east of this road were to belong to
Angels?"

"Yes it was," said his Majesty.

"Then on what side of this road would You say
Roxbury Park was?"

"Why to the East," said his Majesty, looking at
Conrad."What say you, Conrad?"

Conrad took the map in hand and turned it this
way and that. "Why your Majesty!" he declared. "I
have been reading this map upside-down! My
apologies to both of you!"

His Majesty looked at Conrad pointedly, "Do not
do so again."

Then, with His Majesty's permission, did Lady
Luxandra and the good people of Greywinds come
forward and address Conrad. "Your Excellency, you
asked for tribute and we are prepared to give it
to you in three parts. The first will be now. The
second before the banquet begins. The third
before the revel begins.  The explanation will
come after that." With that she handed him six
shiny, new pennies.

Before the banquet began, she handed him a
bottle, sometimes called a hip-flask, filled with
a brown liquid that burned the throat.

Before the revel began, she gave him a pie that
made some very odd sounds, like
"Chiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrppp, chirp, chirp, chirp,
chirp! Chiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrppp, chirp, chirp,
chirp, chirp!"

Then did she and her people begin to sing: "Sing
a song of six pense. A pocket full of rye.
Four-and-twenty black birds baked in a pie."

Baron Conrad began to laugh and laugh. After he
regained his composure, he brought out his eating
dagger and said, "I just have to see these black
birds!"

"Chiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrppp, chirp,
chirp, chirp, chirp!"

Conrad thrust his dagger into the pie.

"Chiiiiiirr ...." and the pie went silent.

Conrad looked dismayed and cried, "I think I
killed it!" Hastily, he tore open the pie and
discovered 23 black velvet, stuffed blackbirds
and one mechanically operated blackbird that had
been stabbed directly through the battery.

It was quite a while before he regained his
composure again.

And this is as I saw it.

Huette



=====
Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they
shall never cease to be amused.

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