[Sca-cooks] An open letter to Food TV regarding Mr. Flay...

[Martin G. Diehl]

kingstaste at mindspring.com wrote:
> 
> A rough draft proposal - any thoughts?
> ;)
> Christianna

Overall, it is an amusing approach. ... and I haven't done 
one of these responses in a while.  <g> 

At this point, a little break would be in order ... 
I suggest that you stop for a moment and review 
"Stephen's Guide to the Logical Fallacies"
http://www.datanation.com/fallacies/fall.htm 
... and also several other mirrors on the 'net.  

After all that is what the recipients of your proposed 
letter will be doing as they read it.  

> Dear Food TV Executives,
>         We, the collective cooks of the Society for 
> Creative Anachronism 

This would be "Appeal to Authority" 

... but also "False Premise" 

... as we (members of SCA-Cooks) are not a statistically 
reliable selection of cooks in the SCA -- nor have we 
been chosen to act as representatives of SCA Cooks or the 
SCA in general when dealing with TV producers in particular 
or the public in general.  

> wanted to take a moment to write to you about Mr. Bobby 
> Flay, who purports to be a chef of some reknown.  
> We do not like Mr. Flay, we do not like him at all.

The selected audience would probably miss the implied 
"Dr. Suess" hint and simply recognize this message as 
another "Ad Hominem Attack" ... and might even disregard 
everything we say in this message.  

> It isn't a "We love to hate him" sort of dislike (that is 
> reserved for Emeril), and it isn't a "let's send his 
> cookbook to someone we don't like" (that is reserved for 
> [which cook should we put in here?  Tyler Florence?  
> Paula Deen?].

The inside jokes would be seen as elitism, snide or smarmy.  

(As a personal aside, please note that I am well authorized 
to use the word "smarmy" as I have been accused of that 
usage.  You know who you are.  Please don't make me go 
there ... I have the eMails to prove it.  <g>)

> Mr. Flay (we won't dignify him with the title "Chef"), 

Ad Hominem Attack

If you must question that, cast doubt by asking where, how 
long he studied and who gave it to him, could we see the 
diploma, transcript, ... .  

Visualize one of the "Nixon interviews", where "asked about 
the Presidency" ... "not allowed to see it" ... [he] assured 
"it was having regularly scheduled oil changes and 
transmission inspections."

> represents so many bad behaviors and poor cooking 
> practices that he is a disgrace to your network.  

again, an Ad Hominem Attack

> The fact that he has managed to whine his way into not one, 
> not two, but now 3 Iron Chef shows is just amazing.  

Could be seen simply as 'Sour grapes' ... and I don't mean 
Verjus.  

> His cooking is restricted to roughly 10 ingredients, and 
> he can't seem to make anything without too much spice and 
> blue corn masa.  

Now this is something -- something important.  But you are 
not backing it up with facts.  

If you could assert that, 'after checking his published 
works and transcripts of his cooking demonstrations (no, 
you shouldn't say, 'lame demos' here), we see that he uses 
only xx ingredients and usually these 10 (list).  Then 
follow with your supportable conclusion.  

> He does excell at grandstanding, which is fine if there 
> was quality food to back it up.  

Good idea, better to quote specific examples to draw your 
audience to the correct conclusion.  

Careful though, this may appeal to TV producers.  

Visualize the (somewhat) recent Dilbert where the PHB said 
that he enjoyed having friends come over to show him how to 
turn on his (enormous) Home Entertainment System.  

> However Mr. Flay cannot seem to produce anything 'outside 
> his box' as it were, and if it weren't for his flamboyant 
> antics, would be totally boring to watch.  

Caution ... TV producers may want that kind of recognition.  

> As it is, when he comes on the screen, it is time to find 
> another channel.  The fact that he is being included in 
> the Iron Chef America is distressing.  

We may feel this way and it might even be true.  A better 
way to present these ideas would be to ask if market 
research studies about these practices (list) have been used 
to test a statistically reliable sample of the TV viewers 
(population) in order to draw conclusions about the 
reactions of the total population.  

> The Iron Chef format is fabulous, and we all enjoy it.  We 
> applaud your choice of Alton Brown as commentator (although 
> he would be great to watch as a competitor

insert something like ... because of his knowledge, skill, 
... or whatever.  

> ), along with Mario Battali and Masaharu Morimoto.  Even 
> Wolfgang Puck was fun to watch in the last version, 
> although hearing Mr. Flay whine and throw temper tantrums 
> ruined that show as well.

The last would be viewed as an Ad Hominem attack unless you 
begin by listing his abominable, deplorable behavior and 
the norms that were violated.  

> A professional chef should know better than to stand on 
> cooking surfaces, burn foods, and throw things.  Mr. Flay 
> displays behaviors that should have been dealt with in 
> kindergarten, and have no place in a professional 
> cooking environment.  

I think this should have been first ... perhaps sent in an 
envelope that begins "Do you think it is right that 
so-and-so should ... 

>         We urge you to reconsider Flay's inclusion in 
> future cooking shows, as his presence brings down the 
> status of your entire organization.  Perhaps if he weren't 
> spending so much time making food shows (they aren't 
> really qualified to be called 'cooking shows') he would be 
> able to spend more time developing his less-than-promising 
> cooking capabilities.  

This is a sort of 'cart before the horse' statement ... if 
you show the facts, they will reach your conclusions.  

> Do yourselves a favor, cut him loose.

This is the place to include the list of advertisers.  
For each advertiser, you should list the name, address, 
phone number, and eMail address of each of, 
the head of marketing, CEO, and Chairman.  

Visualize this line from "Flesh Gordon", 

"I have the power pasties ... and I know how to use them." <g>  

>         Sincerely,
>                 The cooks that love you

Here, IMNSHO, "The cooks who love you" as we are people.  

Vincenzo

-- 
Martin G. Diehl

http://www.renderosity.com/gallery.ez?ByArtist=Yes&Artist=MGD

Reality: That which remains after you stop thinking about it.
  inspired by P. K. Dick