[Sca-cooks] Brightening up the Holiday Season with a little Surrealism...

[Saint Phlip]

I was wondering where that suspicious half a ham came from ;-)

On Tue, Dec 16, 2008 at 11:59 PM, Phil Troy / G. Tacitus Adamantius
<adamantius1 at verizon.net> wrote:
> Hullo, the list!
>
> So here I am, having sent out some food gifts to family for the various
> holidays via Internet-initiated shipments... I did make a lot of food gifts,
> but for some long-distance people I simply had some things shipped directly
> from various vendors.
>
> Of course, fruit baskets aren't really my thing (if the fruit were really
> good, it would be too delicate to ship that way), and those weird little
> assortments with the little block of soaplike cheese, sour-tasting,
> overly-ground sausage, and packets of really small crackers aren't much
> better.
>
> I finally opted for items from a place that cures and smokes hams and
> related products (and sells them online), and in a moment of inspiration
> bordering on madness, one of the New-Jersey-based Scottish bakeries that
> sell things like meat pies, Forfar Bridies, sausage rolls, etc.
>
> I mean, what are the odds of another party giving a duplicate gift? "Oh,
> drat, ANOTHER box of pub meat pies! That's the third one in two days!"
>
> I just received an e-mail from my nephew, affecting to angrily accuse me of
> being the party responsible for an unmarked, unidentified, unpedigreed and
> semi-provenance-free box of meat pies, bridies and sausage rolls delivered
> by UPS magically on their doorstep. He said the local office of the
> Department of Homeland Security was called in, and it was determined that
> while it was indeed a box of pub-style meat pies, it could not in fact be
> classified as an act of terrorism in the strictest sense, or even a public
> health hazard, and hunting down the evildoer responsible would cost a lot of
> taxpayer funds, so it would be better to simply eat the pies and let it
> go...
>
> But, he said, he knew perfectly well who was responsible, I shouldn't bother
> trying to deny it, and some day I'd get what's coming to me ;-) .
>
> That's okay. He thinks he's got it bad? His father and mother got their very
> own haggis. And if they want to complain, I can only say that it could have
> been worse. They got the small size. If they want to play rough, I could
> have sent them the five-pound presentation size! They can't intimidate me!!!
>
> Adamantius (wondering, with amused anticipation, what form any acts of
> vengeance might take -- I've already been threatened with haakarl once
> today)
>
>
>
>
> "Most men worry about their own bellies, and other people's souls, when we
> all ought to worry about our own souls, and other people's bellies."
>                        -- Rabbi Israel Salanter
>
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>



-- 
Saint Phlip

Heat it up
Hit it hard
Repent as necessary.

Priorities:

It's the smith who makes the tools, not the tools which make the smith.

.I never wanted to see anybody die, but there are a few obituary
notices I have read with pleasure. -Clarence Darrow