[Sca-cooks] food dislikes, cultural mores and being polite. was Re: Re: P B & J

Judith Epstein judith at ipstenu.org
Wed Aug 26 15:23:24 PDT 2009

On Aug 26, 2009, at 5:12 PM, Antonia Calvo wrote:

> Judith Epstein wrote:
>> There are a lot of reasons. Sure, the reasons are valid because  
>> they're yours, but if you're good enough friends to be sharing a  
>> meal, doesn't your friend deserve to know whether you're objecting  
>> to something they might be able to fix, so that you can enjoy one  
>> another's company over a nice plate of food?
> No, they don't "deserve" any of that.  They don't "deserve" to be  
> treated like a restaurant, or "deserve" to be loaded up with my  
> objections to their house, their spouse, or their neighbourhood, and  
> in general, they don't "deserve" to be given a list of what they  
> need to do before I will deign to visit.  They *do* deserve that I  
> show up, behave graciously, don't complain, and do eat my dinner.   
> It is possible that there will be something that I don't eat, but  
> it's really not a big deal-- it's a home, not a restaurant, and if  
> there's something I really don't like, I say "no, thank you" *and  
> forget it*.
> -- 
> Antonia di Benedetto Calvo

Honestly, "show up and eat" sounds way more like a restaurant service  
than a social interaction between friends. It's good to know that  
before I think of getting to know you well enough to want to cook for  
you, though.


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