[Sca-cooks] food likes and dislikes and ettiquette

lilinah at earthlink.net lilinah at earthlink.net
Fri Aug 28 11:41:48 PDT 2009

Judith  wrote:
>  And likewise, to serve something without making sure a guest
>  could eat it is the biggest insult that a host could offer.

Well, i think that statement is rather bit hyperbolic.

I've been invited to dinners (and i do not mean dinner parties) by 
people i knew but not deeply and intimately, and they didn't ask what 
i couldn't or wouldn't eat. I have never viewed that as insulting. In 
fact, i would not expect it. Most people figure you eat what you want 
to or can, and you skip the stuff you don't want to or can't eat, and 
everyone is fine with that.

It would be a bigger insult to serve some food you knew your guest 
could not eat.

And an even bigger insult to serve some food you knew would make your 
guest ill.

These are certainly within the realm of possibility. I am not 
suggesting that you would do either, Judith. But i'm certain both 
have been done, heck, i've had similar experiences, sometimes "for 
your own good".

When i was a vegetarian (ovo-lacto) i was often served meat-heavy 
dinners at relatives' houses. Of course, that was back in the late 
60s and early 70s, when in the US only weirdos were vegetarians.

At my first Passover seder in the early 70s, after eating the bitter 
herbs and the egg dipped in salt water, etc., i spent the rest of the 
meal eating matzoh spread with charoset and/or horseradish, since 
that was all i could eat until dessert. It was a very chicken-heavy 
meal and the vegetables in the main course had been cooked with the 
chicken in the broth that became the soup.

I was not insulted - a little disappointed not to be able to eat the 
veggies, but not insulted. And as far as i know, my hostess was not 
insulted either - embarrassed, maybe - or maybe not - after all *I* 
was the weirdo.

Life happens. Stuff happens. I can't get that upset about a single 
meal, when out in the world real horrible injustices are taking 
place. I'm lucky enough to know i'll get another meal when i want it.

Someone sometimes called Urtatim

More information about the Sca-cooks mailing list