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> COOKING TERMS
>
> Tongue: A variety of meat, rarely served because it
> clearly crosses the line between a cut of beef and a
> piece of dead cow.
>
> Yogurt: Semi-solid dairy product made from partially
> evaporated and fermented milk. Yogurt is one of only
> three foods that taste exactly the same as they
> sound. The other two are goulash and squid.
>
> Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for
> preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils
> you don't own, to make a dish the dog won't eat.
>
> Porridge: Thick oatmeal rarely found on American
> tables since children were granted the right to sue
> their parents. The name is an amalgamation of the
> words "Putrid," "hORRId," and "sluDGE."
>
> Preheat: To turn on the heat in an oven for a period
> of time before cooking a dish, so that the fingers may
> be burned when the food is put in, as well as when it
> is removed.
>
> Oven: Compact home incinerator used for disposing
> of bulky pieces of meat and poultry.
>
> Microwave Oven: Space-age kitchen appliance that
> uses the principle of radar to locate and immediately
> destroy any food placed within the cooking
> compartment.
>
> Calorie: Basic measure of the amount of
> rationalization offered by the average individual prior
> to taking a second helping of a particular food.


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"English doesn't borrow from other languages. English follows other
languages down dark alleys, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets
for loose grammar."
                                                            --- Unknown