[Tempio] Fwd: [ALL THINGS ANSTEORRA] it's not ansteorran but it's scadian!
rs_teke at yahoo.com
Thu Sep 4 17:01:50 PDT 2003
I got a kick out of this, and thought i'd pass it on.
MOSCOW--Official reports from the Kremlin Tuesday
the Society for Creative Anachronism, a group of
hobbyists, seized control of Russia in a bloodless
coup over the weekend.
"Weakened by food shortages, political
instability and widespread
economic chaos, our military's combined forces proved
no match for the
enemy's rattan-and-duct-tape broadswords and homemade
deposed Russian president Boris Yeltsin during a
national radio address
in which he relinquished rulership to the
"Principality Of The Mists,"
one of several dozen SCA "kingdoms."
"I can't tell you how humiliating this is," he
The SCA, founded in 1966 by a group of Berkeley
and fantasy fans, is a non-profit organization
dedicated to fun and
learning through such medieval activities as
lute-playing and brewing. Boasting more than 20,000
dues-paying members in 14
countries, the club is also known for holding
elaborately staged mock
battles, followed by feasting and merrymaking amid the
troubadours and jesters.
The seizure of over 70% of Russia's land mass
marks the first
time the SCA has ventured into the arena of
"I can't believe how easy it was to claim Kiev
for the Kingdom Of
Ealdormere," said Royal Peer Gawain Falconsfyre, a
tech-support assistant from a suburb of Toronto. "It
was a piece of cake.
Haven't any of these Russians ever heard of a
Falconsfire and an SCA faction armed only with
successfully captured two Russian tank divisions
outside Moscow Saturday
when fuel shortages immobilized the armored vehicles.
Due to the disarray of communications within
regarding the actual invasion is sketchy. It was
that St. Petersburg was taken without a shot being
fired late Saturday
morning, after thousands of Russian soldiers deserted
joining approximately 70 SCA knights advancing on the
city in hopes of being
issued new boots and coats.
The SCA also overtook vast areas at the borders
of former Russian
republics Ukraine and Belarus simply by trading
several sacks of
potatoes for enemy guns.
Above: Former president Boris Yeltsin transferring
control of Russia to
Grand Seneschal Ulf Silverhawk.
"Forsooth, mine legions of brave warmakers hath
Lands West O' the Urals! Let there be great rejoicing
in our noble
victory!" exclaimed Cedric, Bard of the House of
Æthelmearc, 36, hoisting a
flagon of ale. "What, ho! Bring on the serving
Cedric, known as Harold Freed when among non-SCA
credited with capturing two military air bases and a
string of missile
installations throughout the north Caucasus region
along the Georgian
border--an area rendered vulnerable by ethnic
infighting, corruption and
SCA leaders, who have called the weekend's
campaign "a really
good time," were said to be especially pleased with
the invasion's early
wrap-up, as it left the remainder of the weekend free
recreation in the form of mead-drinking, archery
contests, and the singing of
Even captured Russian soldiers were invited to
join in the fun
and campfire dancing. Such "good sportsmanship" has
some analysts arguing
that the SCA's power base in Russia may even benefit
the troubled land
in the long run.
"Though civilian rioting and widespread
starvation still rock the
major population centers, Russia is actually more
stable right now than
it has been for the last 18 months," Harvard political
professor F. Horace Gunderson said. "Candle-dipping
seminars are addressing the
problems posed by energy shortages, and the booths
turkey legs represent, in many regions, the first
source of food in weeks."
"This could be the best thing to happen to
Russia in years,"
agreed State Department foreign-affairs analyst Howard
Plum. "The sale of
jewelry, driftwood art and other medieval handcrafting
tables throughout Russia has boosted local economies,
and SCA presence has
even created new jobs in the custodial and
The U.N. security council is drafting a proposal
forces to remain in Russia, at least until a more
viable interim government
can be structured.
"Under the current political system, the Russian
Mafia domination of the black market and a
infrastructure," U.N. Ambassador Thomas R. Pickering
said. "With an elaborately
networked consortium of amateur gamers in charge,
however, there will
at least be some semblance of order."
Members of SCA nobility, however, say the group
has no interest
in running Russia for any great length of time,
especially with the
members' need to prepare for their next major event,
this summer's Pennsic
War between the East and Middle Kingdoms, to be held
Insiders expect the occupying forces to return power
to the Russian
government "on the honor system" and return to their
day jobs by the end of
"We're doing this for fun, not the vulgar
acquisition of personal
political power," said insurance actuary and Arizona
Pendragon, of the Kingdom of Atenveldt. "We're here to
mutual interest in the ways and customs of pre-1600
feudal Europe, and to
bedeck ourselves in the heraldic regalia of our
personas, not to get mixed up in politics."
Pendragon added that "anyone who wants to have a
fun time and
make new friends" should check out the SCA home page
or contact the
group's California headquarters directly at its
toll-free number for more
information on an SCA chapter in their area.
"We're really just friendly folks who welcome
Pendragon said. "Plus, now is a great time to get
involved, because there's
lots of super events coming up this summer, and you'll
want time to
prepare the correct blazon for your heraldry."
with love gael o'finnin the strange
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Subject: [ALL THINGS ANSTEORRA] it's not ansteorran but it's scadian!
Date: Tue, 2 Sep 2003 18:57:29 -0700 (PDT)
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